Tibek (tibek) wrote in shinahil,

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Story I've been fooling around with. Criticism begged for and appreciated.

She stood on the edge of a cliff. Cliche. The girl shook her head. Too bad. I don't care if it's cliche or not. Today, I'm going to do it. Today, I'm going to kill myself.

It had been a hard couple of weeks for Brenna. She was fairly popular at school, with her caring attitude and friendly nature, she didn't have many quarrels. She had a boyfriend who simply doted on her, buying her things when the occasion arose and taking her out quite frequently. At home, she was a delight, helping her mother out with dinner and the general chores, always willing to listen to her father's long, rambling stories. Even her little brother she got along with, letting the five year old pick the games and books they read together.

The girl didn't even have any qualms about her physical looks. Her hair, unlike the rest of her family's dark brown, was a natural deep black. She keep it extremely long, due to the begging of her envious friends, with crisp-cut bangs in front. Her body wasn't the most trim, but she liked to think of herself as 'healthy' more than anything else. Even her fair complexion somehow managed to look good with her dark hair. Her eyes were a beautiful hue of blue-gray. Her boyfriend, Paul, constantly reminded her that they were the color of an overcast sky, just before it was about to rain. He was so good to her. But now...

But now... everything's falling apart.

It all started about two months ago. Only two months ago? It was on an innocent, carefree June day when it started...

For most of the day Brenna had spent the time at a friend's house. One of her girlfriends, Christine, had invited Brenna to her birthday party. She only lived a few blocks away and Brenna's parents only had one car so she opted to walk.

The weather was superb, even for June, and the girl relished in the sunshine, swinging her present to the random tune in her head. Even the feeling that she was being watched didn't dampen Brenna's spirits. She knew she lived in a safe neighborhood. There was nothing to fear, really. Stepping up to Christine's front door, she smiled at herself. See?

At the knock, the girl of the hour appeared. She grinned and ushered Brenna inside to join the party.

The teenagers partied hard into the night. They played games like darts and a few video games, had a competitive football tournament, watched a good scary movie, and there was even dancing near the end.

Brenna had great luck with darts that night, but it was dancing that was her favorite. Shuffling close with Paul for most of the dances, she didn't get to show off her skill until she was asked for one of the fast dances. Moving with a fluid grace, she danced first with Kevin. He was clumsy, but al least he didn't step on her.

Then twice with Matt, Paul's best friend. He and Brenna had a decent friendship, but she really didn't know much about him. She was grateful the songs were too fast for conversation. The one thing she remembered precisely was that Matt liked to make jokes about her and Paul's relationship. Asking her how far along they were wasn't Brenna's idea of an intelligent conversation.

She even danced once with a boy she almost didn't recognize. What was his name? Connor. Most of the girls guessed him shy, but after his energetic, intuitive, and generally impressive moves on the dance floor, Brenna made a note to disagree with them Monday at school.

After another few slow dances (with Paul, of course) the party wound down. At a quarter to midnight, her curfew, Brenna said goodbye to her friends. Paul followed her out to the porch.

"Sure I can't, like, walk you home or something?"

"I'll be fine," she reassured him, giving him a mischievous smile. "I'm a big girl, I can get a few blocks by myself."

"Okay. I'm gonna hang here for a bit more, hun. See you Monday?" The boy pushed his thick blonde hair behind his ears.

"Sure. Call me or something, okay?"

As Paul leaned in for a kiss, Brenna hesitated. He was always wanting kisses nowadays. But, of course, that just meant that he was ready to expand upon their relationship. Are you afraid of that?! You want it, too, right?

Brenna giggled to herself, pressing her lips to Paul's, but couldn't hold the kiss and broke away quickly. Paul gave her a quizzical look before reaching for her body, to pull her in and still her. The girl twisted around his arms and bounded off down the stairs.

"Think of that as a promise for the future," she said with what she hoped was a convincingly playful voice. Without waiting for an answer, she turned and started off into the dark. She heard the door open and close, almost disappointed that Paul hadn't called out after her. Well, she was acting pretty strange tonight, right? It'll all be better Monday.

Brenna didn't exactly look forward to going to school, knowing that most other schools around the country had a nice, thick, solid summer break around this time, but school wasn't really all that bad. Attending a year-round school had its advantages, much longer breaks the whole year round, but in the summer it was really hard to focus on simple schoolwork.

Thinking hard about her classes and the quiz in Algebra on Monday, Brenna almost didn't hear the cat. It yowled again as the girl came out of her trance and she looked around wildly for the source of the creepy, if heart-wrenching, sound.

Thankfully, the moon was out and gave her beautiful as well as helpful light to search by. Is it full tonight, she wondered to herself, squinting up at the honey-colored globe. Another startling yelp brought her back to her task at hand.

The cat, as it turned out, was yelping from a field a little ways ahead and off to the right of the sidewalk. Thinking she just might be crazy, Brenna hurried over to fence. It was made of barbed wire and wasn't particularly solid. Brenna, with a little difficultly, squeezed through a gap between two of the poles, noting a broken wooden door off to one side. Must have been a gate. Now where is that loud thing?
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